SHIFT: What do you do when your friends stop listening?

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SHIFT: What do you do when your friends stop listening?
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According to some experts, talking about trauma is key to recovery- via healthing_ca healthing health trauma mentalhealth

Years ago, I met a woman in her thirties who had been living with a serious cancer for four years. She was married, with three teenage children, a close extended family and lots of friends — yet no one knew she had cancer. She said she kept the news to herself because she thought they would worry, or treat her differently or think she was weak.

Ignoring trauma is sort of like leaving a plastic container on a hot burner . At first it melts, it’s very messy and it smells unpleasant. But if you don’t scrape the melted plastic off while it’s warm, it cools to an unsightly, impossible-to-budge mound of hard goo that’s always there — and every time that burner heats up again, the nostril-stinging scent is a reminder that the mess is still there.

“If telling my story could possibly help someone in some small way, then maybe I could begin my healing,” was the sentence that ended her email., “sometimes having your pen do the talking is the most powerful way to harness your voice” when you are trying to make sense of trauma. It’s the getting-it-out that helps heal.

Of course, that’s not to say that everyone should put their trauma out in the world in the hopes of feeling better. Hendriksen cautions that in some cases, talking about experiences that are causing pain and distress might have no impact — or even make PSTD worse — which would be a sign to enlist the help and support of a professional.“L” decided that she needs to share what’s going on in her head and her heart — despite what her friends say. She’s going forward with her book.

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