A couple faces a dilemma: one wants to move to Australia after college, but the other is attached to their family here. They seek advice on whether to break up or one person should compromise.
‘I feel that no matter what we decide to do, one of us is going to be unhappy with that choice’I’m in my mid-twenties and going out with a great guy for two years. We get on really well and he is so good to me and for me. He is still finishing in college having taken a break for a couple of years. Everything is great and we really feel we have a future together – except that he really wants to move to Australia to live once he qualifies.
These are shared values, and for the two of you, they are sadly geographically incompatible. You’re not talking about different towns or counties, but continents and sides of the world, and so you’re right – any compromise won’t be one of “we’ll live closer to your parents but visit mine regularly”, it will be one of “you get to live in accordance with your values, surrounded by your support system, while I don’t get to live out my values, a world away from the people I love”.
Your partner wants to move towards his future and settle somewhere so he can start living his life in accordance with his values. You need to do the same – by staying where you are. If you know that your partner is going to move, and that this will be the end of your relationship, you can decide what to do with your time now. Unlike so many relationships that implode or end after one person makes a huge sacrifice and resentment builds, you and your partner can decide how to spend your remaining time together. You can plan for the end of your relationship, and move towards this ending with all the love and care and respect that you’ve brought to it so far.
Relationship Dilemma Moving Abroad Compromise Long Distance Family Ties
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