Stalking a Rustically Hip Family on Instagram

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Stalking a Rustically Hip Family on Instagram
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“Where better to get high on your own internal toxicity than Instagram?”

The woman in the photograph looks out at me with a face full of exhaustion and bliss. In her hands, she cradles the purplish, bloody bundle of a just-born child. It’s a beautiful, celebratory image of human existence, as raw and pure and joyful as anything seen through the orderly square of an Instagram post can be. I peer at it in the dark, and hiss-whisper, “How dare you.”

When I finished reading the description of the unmedicated, unassisted home birth that accompanied the photograph, it was impossible not to recall my own birthing experience. I have just one child—I actually do a lot of my Instagram-creeping curled up in her bed as I coax her to sleep—and I gave birth in a regular hospital. I did not write a list of birth preferences; it struck me as so arrogant, so unwise, to attach myself emotionally to a certain set of hoped-for ways that the birth could go.

I think about that conversation as I look at the woman and her newborn. What might have happened if her baby, like mine, had been facing the wrong way in the birth canal? Was her husband beefy enough to squeeze her like a tube of toothpaste? One thing I knew for sure: she would have had no interest in proving how good she was at taking orders.

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