There’s no excuse for sexism and harassment.
. Start by checking in with the target of this behavior when you witness it. This validates her experience. For example,
I noticed that your manager dismissed you and the other women’s expertise in the meeting. It feels sexist to me. Am I reading this right?The next time a woman colleague reports a sexist or harassing encounter, be sure that nothing you say might lead her to believe she’s misreading the perpetrator’s behavior or blowing it out of proportion. Try something like:
I believe you. From what you’ve described, that behavior doesn’t sound appropriate. Can you tell me more, and can I team up with you to address it?Hold other men accountableof other men for sexism, bias, harassment, and all manner of inappropriate behavior may be the toughest part of male allyship. But it is essential to eliminating the “good guy” defense. Don’t tell the target of harassment or misogyny that the perpetrator is a “good guy.” Address the behavior with the man in question.
I really appreciated it when you spoke up about our coworker’s inappropriate and offensive joke. Everyone saw what you did. Of course, reinforcement can have the added value of influencing others when done in public. For instance, Thank you for saying that. I was also uncomfortable with that comment and I agree that’s just not what we do here.Where the “good guy” defense is prevalent, engage team members in discussions about the impact this phrase has on people. Encourage others to share their experiences with the “good guy” defense and why we should drop it. Include vignettes or examples of the “good guy” defense at training programs.
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