Suppressing Emotions Can Harm You—Here's What to Do Instead

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Suppressing Emotions Can Harm You—Here's What to Do Instead
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How to acknowledge and make room for your emotions so that they don't overwhelm you, by KatieLMSW

about money, and think I've worked hard enough to deserve it. I may want to give my boss an earful. But knowing this will undermine my chance of getting a future raise, I recognize and listen to the anger I feel, notice it's trying to tell me a boundary has been violated, and I use this information to guide my behavior. Maybe I take a brisk walk to blow off steam, then set up a meeting with my boss to discuss my concerns—or begin looking for another job.

Or, let's say I'm sad about losing a beloved pet. I want to get over it and get back to normal. But instead of denying my sadness, I listen to it, ask what it needs , and try to provide myself what it needs, perhaps through my close relationships, a therapist, or a support group. Rather than letting my sadness bar my participation in activities I value, I make space for my sadness and carry it with me to them, even if I'm a bit blue in the process.

The more we recognize, allow, and make space for our emotions, the greater tolerance we build for them. With greater tolerance, we're better able to modulate our emotions so they don't overwhelm ourabilities or reason, or seem so unbearable that we have to suppress them. It may not always feel easy to respond rather than react to our emotions, but each time we try to do so, we get that much better at it.

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