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with Stanford Children's Health, she often helps parents navigate this tricky — but nearly universal — challenge. Dr. Pederson says tantrums typically start in the toddler years, and most children experience them between 15 months and 3 years of age.
When your child throws themself into a tantrum, Dr. Pederson recommends parents first take a second to assess the situation. If you're in public, you most likely have to deal with the tantrum right there, right then — but if you're at home, you have a second to assess how you want to respond. Either way, Dr. Pederson encourages parents to pause and take a deep breath before responding.
In the moment, you can also help your child find ways to calm down. Try asking them to close their eyes and take big belly breaths or redirecting them to a different activity if you're at home. Sometimes, encouraging them to take a break will help them relax and let go of the tantrum. Dr. Pederson suggests parents avoid saying no during the tantrum, as it can only make your child more upset, and avoiding corporal punishment.
The hours after a tantrum are also a good time to have a conversation with your child about what happened. Dr. Pederson says toddlers will often replay a conflict after it occurs, either in pretend play or with friends, to try to understand what happened. As a parent, you can also encourage that emotional growth by asking them to talk about what they were feeling and what happened and letting them know it's OK to have a hard time.
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