Children as young as eight find pornographic images. A pioneering programme helps teenagers deal with it
“How do you feel you’re expected to show dominance?”
All of the suggestions come from the students. Cleary is very careful not to bring in anything that they don’t introduce themselves. He has no strong opinions about porn use for adults. For him, this is about children and teenagers seeing things for which they have no safe context. He feels that most kids have been abandoned to their always-on smartphones and that adults, largely through ignorance, haven’t been giving them the guidance that they need. He has invited me to Temple Carrig to see what they do, and to talk to some students who’ve previously done these courses.
Did parents or teachers ever talk to them about this sort of thing before? “‘Sex education’ was a bit more straightforward,” says Neil. “‘This is sex. This is what happens with sex. Porn is bad’… But in Mr Cleary’s class we actually got to look into it. We actually got to go ‘Oh, this is how porn affects your mind.’”What was different about this? “It was a conversation,” says Jordan. “And it was about the experience of sharing stuff. So it wasn’t just about getting the information taught.
Do they think the messaging that they were getting from social media and pornography could affect how they saw girls and women?“Pornography could easily reinforce a really unrealistic standard,” says Jordan. “The sexual boundary thing [on the Bodyright course] that we did with Mr Cleary, that was one of the most helpful things we learned,” says Neil. “I was really scared about all that stuff. I was really worried that when the time came, that I wouldn’t know how to do it, how to get consent and how to be respectful. It was really good to learn there’s a proper way and to hear girls in the classroom say, ‘That’s fine’ was a reassurance.
Based on a survey which staff of Temple Carrig undertook at the school, more than 50 per cent of the student body regularly used porn. A quarter of the male students accessed it more than once a day. Five years ago, surveys suggested that children were first encountering pornographic images online at about 11 or 12. Newer surveys suggest that that’s dropped to as young as eight. Young people look at porn for pleasure, but also for education.
He can sometimes see a student realising, during these classes, that something they experienced wasn’t right. “They’ll remember something that they haven’t ever thought about before or realise that what they’re currently experiencing isn’t healthy and they’ll come and ask for support... I’m thinking of one girl in particular who was in a relationship that was not healthy. [She] sought our help and ended the relationship.
And what sort of sex education did they get? “It was always very biological,” says Maya. “It wasn’t about relationships or any of that.” “I was obsessed with the Harry Potter movies,” says Emma. “So I looked up the cast. I was looking at Daniel Radcliffe. And then something popped up: ‘See Daniel Radcliffe naked’…. Later that day, my mum and dad were like, we need to have a chat because we found naked pictures of Daniel Radcliffe.”
“Getting information directly from people your age, rather than getting the information from porn,” says Gemma. “It was such a big difference.”Would they like more classes like this? “Totally, because we’ll be changed by sixth year again,” says Emma. “A class where you can all talk about what you feel… would be good.”What could parents do better? “Maybe leave it longer before you give children technology,” says Anna.
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