'We all escape our pain at times to help us cope. But while we avoid the hard stuff, we inadvertently also avoid what gives our life purpose and meaning,' explains StevenCHayes
And though it may not sound like it, this is normal and natural. We all escape our pain at times to help us cope. But while we avoid the hard stuff, we inadvertently also avoid what gives our life purpose and meaning. Rather than reaching for our goals, wishes, and ideals, we focus on not feeling. And if we live like this for too long, we may even begin to doubt whether there is any sense to it at all.
The more we care, the more intensely we feel those losses. Once life reveals that irony to us, the more we care, the more vulnerable we feel. The only way to invite purpose into your life is by allowing pain to come along as well. Unlike goals, your values are never-ending. For instance, you can achieve the goal of getting a partner, but you can never fully achieve or “possess” the value of love as a kind of static object. Love is ongoing. It matters before and after you get a partner.
There is substantial literature that shows that values choices must be choices. This is between you and the person in the mirror. If you try a value out of obligation,, or compliance, it will not lift you up—it will push you down. So when you look at this list, do not view them as things you are being told or pushed to do. Hold them lightly and choose them freely.Source: David Lorscheid, used with permissionIt’s not enough to choose what matters.
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