Rainesford Stauffer explores how 'being behind' is one of ambition's biggest myths
Keeping up with where I wanted to be always felt like a race, a deep personal desire mixed with the sensation I was running out of time, no matter how early I started, no matter how hard I sprinted. It wasn’t until I dug deeper into ambition’s relationship with time that I discovered being behind is a myth—one that had been running my life, convincing me that, if I just tried a little harder, I could outrun the sensation that I was failing at everything I brushed against.
I’d written books but wasn’t a full-time writer; I’d picked myself up after my personal life and health imploded. But now that I was upright, I didn’t know how to step forward. In fact, secretly, I thought I should’ve been more on track by now, even when the track simply wasn’t there anymore. “One foot in front of the other,” I’d tell myself. “Just keep going”—toward the future I yearned for, to see the plans I’d made become real, to imagined security in thinking I could stop.
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