We asked experts how we should deal with conflicting co-workers or clients in order to build good working relationships.
Think about the co-worker you’re in conflict with as a 5-year-old-child, innocent and ignorant. “Don’t let the adult they are showing up as stand in the way of who they are as a human being,” said Joel Garfinkle, executive coach, and author of“Find something to talk about that’s not the subject of your difficulty.”Let them empty their cup first
When there’s conflict, let the other person speak first. Find out why they believe so strongly in the other direction. “I have to hold myself to being open and to truly hearing them without getting triggered, without getting defensive and without wanting to jump in,” said McCleary. “When they’re done speaking, we thank them for sharing. If they’ve shared something that has really crossed our values or even thrashed our values, we have language for that, and it’s respectful language, and it says, ‘I really hear what’s at stake for you. My values are this, and so I don’t agree with you.
But, she adds, when things get tight, we often jump to a judgment, which means we will never understand another person. “Attempt to understand what it’s like from their lived experience,” she said. “We can bridge gaps and understand each other better.”
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