The sleepover dance is a time machine to childhood. At some point, self-seriousness eclipses joy and we stop inventing dances with our friends. Not only do we lose an unparalleled bonding activity, but our sense of selflessness dwindles too
to Harry Nilsson’s “You’re Breakin’ My Heart,” which is also the catalyst for a massive implosion. Yet while many people remember the beach house blowout, fewer may recall the end of the episode, when the four emotionally exhausted women silently recreate the routine at the train station.
Though the friend group’s deep-seated issues certainly aren’t resolved by their routine, the episode is a master class in underscoring the innate love and history that the women share with one another. The use of soft choreography as a salve isn’t a cheap plot device, it’s backed by science. “People report trusting the other people they’re dancing with more. They feel more psychologically similar to one another,” says Lovatt.
As a former ballet dancer, my relationship with dance was more often a modality for perfectionism than it was about having fun. But thanks to the pandemic and a reluctant TikTok download, I was able to lean back into the childlike joy of the sleepover dance. I often think back to a night my roommates and I spent hours learning the to “Blinding Lights.” Just a week or so into lockdown, as others pivoted to hyperindividualism, we united to learn a 15-second routine.
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