What It’s Like to Be Diagnosed With a Mental Disorder That “Doesn’t Officially Exist”

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What It’s Like to Be Diagnosed With a Mental Disorder That “Doesn’t Officially Exist”
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Stephanie Foo finally had her dream job at This American Life. Then a startling diagnosis derailed everything.

, there isn’t much literature on C-PTSD. What does exist is often dry, dull, and written with all the kindness and emotional intelligence of a tech bro. But still, I was desperate to learn, so I bought a small stack of books, each with a vague impressionist painting on the cover coupled with uninviting font. And I made my way through them, one painful page at a time.

Let’s say, for example, that you are hit by a car. Your brain registers the noise of the car screeching to a halt, the grille speeding toward you. It shoots out an onslaught of stress chemicals like adrenaline and cortisol that elevate your heart rate and blood pressure, narrowing your focus to the thump of the impact and the pain and the sound of an ambulance.

Then I read a section in one of the books that featured a long line of photos of a woman making various expressions—transitioning slowly from a sad face to an angry one.showed these pictures to children who had not experienced abuse, then to children who had. The abused kids thought that more of these photos presented an angry threat than the children from normal homes did. They were hyperalert to even the smallest twinges in facial expressions.

If I had traditional PTSD … if, let’s say, getting hit by a car was the one foundational traumatic moment of my life, I could learn to isolate and resolve the triggers from it, potentially through exposure therapy: walking past the Krispy Kreme every day, crossing that intersection with a safe protector.

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