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‘Almost 4,500 every year in Ireland do not progress from year one to year two … There’s a lot of unhappy students and parents’
Almost 4,500 every year in Ireland do not progress from year one to year two … There’s a lot of unhappy students and parents’ Parents need to make their own transition from 'manager to mentor' in their third-level student’s life.
Photograph: Getty Imageshe transition from school to college is a huge milestone in a student’s life. And it’s a significant marker in a parent’s life too, as they adapt to a new role in supporting their now adult child’s education. Parents need to make their own transition from “manager to mentor” in their third-level student’s life, says Joan Broderick, college adviser and founder of.
“All along I’ve thought that parents and families are left outside the gates of college. They’re not brought on the journey or given the information that when students come home and say that they’re not happy, what are the options. ”Families need “good information and support”, she says. One of the biggest challenges is that “parents don’t know what they don’t know”.
Conversations in advance of and during this transition are vital, she explains. And by having them in the right way and asking the right questions parents can learn the things they also need to know. Advice for college first years: ‘You need to force yourself to go to at least one club’ “They go off to college and they have their part-time work, and their parents are subbing with maybe accommodation, or commuting money, or lunches. Who pays for what?
” These are the conversations that need to be had, she says. Broderick, who has worked in a third-level college, has seen students who are afraid to go home to say they don’t have enough money.
“I want parents to have that conversation – about the costs, about the budgeting, about emergency funding that they need. And for parents to realise that this is a real issue. ”of October in your phone and put mid-January in your phone’”, Broderick says.
“And check in with them . ” These are the deadlines to withdraw from college without facing a financial penalty or a reduced financial penalty, she says.
“If you miss those two deadlines, it’s going to cost you for them to stay in college the next year if they’re not happy. ” Broderick has personal experience of being caught out with this herself. Her son was unhappy on his original college course, but because he didn’t leave the course before the cut-off date, she found herself having to pay €9,000 for him to do first year again on a different course.
“The penalty to repeat your first year is pretty stringent and hard and tough at times,” she says. “Almost 4,500 every year in Ireland do not progress from year one to year two … There’s a lot of unhappy students and a lot of unhappy families and parents. There are transfers. And they’re hard to get, but they’re not impossible.
It’s just for parents to know that these things exist out there. ”Broderick advises parents to chat with their students about what a good semester looks like.
“They really have to prioritise the number of weeks,” she explains. “The first six or eight weeks are really, really important. In first year they need to honour their timetable and not their part-time work. ”Proximity and ease of commute to college is an extremely important consideration if students are to have a positive college experience, Broderick says.
Don’t rule out digs, she advises.
“For students that can find a nice digs close to college. They might get their meal handed to them. They’ll have a bed to go home to, key to the door, and that’s one stress taken away from them. And then they’ll find their core group to go and share with in second year, third year and fourth year.
” Commute times need to be factored in too, she says.
“Parents are expecting them to commute two hours a day each way. I just think it is so difficult. That is soul-destroying … they’re there for what they have to be there for and then they’re gone. And they don’t get that college experience.
” She recommends students “pick a college nearer home” rather than ending up with unsuitable commutes just to attend a particular college. Speaking of attending particular colleges, the perceived prestige of some institutions shouldn’t override commute considerations. And they also shouldn’t override the type of learner your student is.
“The style of teaching in technological universities versus the style of teaching in universities are different. How does the student best learn. Maybe a technological university is a better place to be. It’s more practical hands on learning,” Broderick says.
As parents navigate the transition from manager to mentor when it comes to supporting their third-level student, it’s important the pendulum doesn’t swing too far either way, says Broderick.
“I’ve spoken to parents and they’re, ‘ah if they go to college they’re on their own’. And that’s hard for the students, and there’s a lot of education needed for those parents. ” And then I’ve gone into schools to do parent talks and webinars … and you can see the ones that just can’t let go and they have to be the manager. And I’m saying, ‘you’re no longer that person.
You now have to step back’. This is your issue, not theirs. Don’t let your stress become their stress. ”This can sometimes feel especially challenging for both parents and students as, at school, parents have typically ensured their children are set up to access any learning supports they may be entitled to.
At college, the students who need these supports may be the ones who find it most difficult to reach out for them, or work out how to access them.
“Parents do need to go in sometimes, with their students, especially with learning difficulties that maybe aren’t as understood as others,” says Broderick. Parents can attend an access office meeting their students and talk through what was said afterwards, she suggests.
“Access offices are brilliant places”. If a student “signs the Dare on the CAO, they will get invited into the disability service and the access service usually, once they’ve accepted their course”, says Broderick. The student will start to receive emails, something students need to get used to. Extra time for exams, assistive technology and other supports can all be arranged through the disability office.
Sometimes, when a student goes to college, “they say I’m leaving my dyspraxia or dyslexia at home. I’m not bringing it to college. ” And this can cause challenges for the students later as they begin to struggle, says Broderick. If this happens, “just reach out”, she advises, and know where to go to access the supports.
If it’s a larger college, where it may not be as obvious where a student should go, Broderick advises going online, where the information will likely be readily available and booking an appointment to speak with someone.
“There’s pockets to go,” says Broderick of the opportunities for students to connect with their peers. “There’s coffee shops and all that … but places like the students union area, you don’t need an appointment to turn up there. You can just be there. Places like pastoral care … oftentimes the students union will have pizza lunches or fun and games.
They’re there and it’s peer to peer. ” Students should also be encouraged to “talk to the person beside you. You need to get over that initial piece of feeling awkward. If you prioritise the first six to eight weeks of college, turn up and honour that timetable, go to every single lecture, you start seeing the same people and that’s where familiarity comes.
And they start feeling that they belong. ” Joining college societies and trying out something new can also be a great way for students to connect, she says. Advice for college first years: ‘You need to force yourself to go to at least one club’Death toll from Nepal-Tibet flood reaches 750, with 3,000 still missingA padded cell, an iron lung and Napoleon’s toothbrush: wonders await in planned medical museumThe complex politics of an ageing Ireland
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