“What if we’re all trapped in conversations because we mistakenly think the other person wants to continue?” ScienceMagArchives
While studying for his master's degree at the University of Oxford, Adam Mastroianni confronted a fear common to many party goers: Would he get stuck in a conversation with no polite way out?
To get a clear picture of how people really felt when engaged in conversation, Mastroianni—now a Ph.D. student in psychology at Harvard University—and his colleagues invited 252 strangers into their lab. They paired them up to chat for as long as they wanted, up to 45 minutes. The volunteers were told whatever time they didn't spend on conversation would be spent on other experimental tasks—so there was no motivation to end the discussion early.
To see how good people were at intuiting their partners' preferences, the researchers asked participants to guess what they thought their conversation partners had wanted, and found that their estimates were far from reality: Some underestimated and others overestimated how long their partners wanted to speak; on the whole, their guesses were about 64% off . About 60% of the time, both partners were in accord: They both wanted the chat to end earlier—or later.
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