Do you believe the order you and your siblings are born in effects your traits?
This means I’m probably a bit bossy, I like to take the lead, and I have a hard time admitting when I’m wrong. It also means that I’m fiercely protective, loyal, and responsible. I’ve never connected much with my star sign. I’m a Leo, and sure some traits ring true, but for the most part, I’d never consider myself to be a confident extrovert, who loves luxury – quite the opposite in fact. But I do resonate with my birth order personality.
I’m the eldest child of two, with a brother who’s 6 years younger than me. Since I was old enough to think, I wanted to be a big sister. I wanted a sibling I could guide and help, or boss around, if you ask my brother. At 6 I snapped straight into Big Sis mode, playing teacher with him when he was weeks old and just happy to be a part of something, zero thoughts, just existing on vibes. Fast forward twenty-odd years and not much has changed – especially the few thoughts part.
Essentially, the birth order psychology theory suggests the sequence in which a child is born in their family; eldest, middle, or youngest, shapes their thoughts and behaviours. Developed by psychotherapist Alfred Adler in the 1900s, it’s still referenced today. Think of your favourite famous families. Kourtney Kardashian is the eldest, and usually the one tied up in the most fights because she has no issue setting personal boundaries.
Psychotherapist Stina Sanders shares her thoughts on the theory on TikTok, listing the different traits often associated with your placement. If you’re the oldest sibling, you’re likely the ‘guinea pig’ she says, “When it comes to first-borns, parents can be overly strict and overly attentive. This in turn can make children become perfectionists. Firstborns tend to be overachievers and have an intense fear of failure.” That sounds about right in my case.
And the youngest children are the most free-spirited of us all. “This is because parents are way more relaxed when it comes to these babies. Last-borns cans sometimes feel like ‘nothing I do matters’ and this could be because their accomplishments aren’t original. They’re usually natural charmers and incredibly funny.” Only children are included too, and if that’s you, Stina says you’re in a unique position. “You have all of your parents’ support, and sometimes all of their pressure too.
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