'They wanted things from me but they didn’t want to know me.'
when I was nineteen years old. It was a decision I made for myself with little thought as to what it would mean to others or how it would change the way I was perceived. Though I was changing my outer appearance, I was the same person.
Plus, I loved one of my teachers who taught there, and she wore it. I wanted to be just like her and so she inspired me in a way. In the Muslim-friendly environment I was in, I wasn’t treated any differently wearing it, and was my own person. The hijab/burka wasn’t reductive. I had no idea of quite how different that would be outside of the bubble I was in.
Much like a bride, my existence as an Asian growing up in England seemed to be to impress others or to conform, rather than to let loose and embrace my culture and identity in the way I wanted, without judgement. Given there were so many things that were not permissible in my culture , wearing the hijab was one of the few ‘halal’ ways of being a rebel. I didn’t need anyone’s approval, nor did I have to ask for my parent’s permission, I wore it because I wanted to.
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