“How was your day?” Nothing inspires shrugs and grunts better than an uninspired question. To spark a real conversation with your kid, try asking one of these “would you rather” questions— plus find additional pointers and ideas to inspire connection here.
, even if they are reluctant to ask for and accept help. They also want to feel heard, without judgment.
Questions about the present will help you settle into the role of coach and advisor for your teen. You’ll gain insights into current challenges and help them develop a supportive inner voice that will facilitate problem-solving, encourage independence, build confidence, and prepare your teen for the challenges of young adulthood.Would you like to talk about it? I’ll just listen.
The best way to proceed is to meet your teen in the middle. The right time and place – when your teen is relaxed and receptive – makes a big difference. Setting the expectation about a future conversation on the topic also helps. Your tone matters, too. Your teen may not want to talk to you if you’re grilling them, being judgmental, or letting your stress show through.Sometime, I’d like to hear your thoughts about life after high school.
When’s a good time for us to talk about college applications? My timetable is probably sooner than yours, so maybe we can meet in the middle.Bonus: The Do’s and Don’ts of ConversationYou might not be used to using questions to connect, and that’s OK. Most parents are used to talking at their child; learning to listen is a skill.Rephrase your child’s answer to show that you’re tuned in. Be empathetic, even if you don’t agree with what they’re saying . Encourage more conversation.
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