In a more multicultural society, how can parents of mixed heritage help their children embrace a full sense of themselves?
Modern families: ‘I remember him being quite curious. He looked and saw he’s not Dad’s skin and he’s not Mom’s skin’
Families of many different backgrounds, colours and creeds have settled on this island, and while it’s still the case that over half the population identifies as white Irish, ever increasing numbers of Irish people identify as having a multi-ethnic identity. In Dr Sultana’s view, the vernacular used around what race actually is takes precedence over when that conversation should take place. “There is a big question around whether is a socially constructed political system and if it really exists,” she says. “But what really exists is the colour and that it’s different. What really exists is the culture. What really exists is whether it’s a cultural minority, ethnic minority or ethnicity and all sorts of these words.
The complexities and challenges associated with racial identity are something Nóirín Kelly’s family are well aware of: Nóirín, 41, was born in Dublin to a Kenyan mother and an Irish father. Her partner, Jamie Holme, is from Liverpool, and they have been in a relationship for 13 years. TheirNóirín Kelly with husband, Jamie Holme, and children Josh and Olivia .
From Dr Sultana’s perspective, any discussion about heritage or roots will always come with different perspectives attached. What’s important, in her view, is for parents to keep checking in, and to explore their children’s decision-making, to make sure that it’s coming from a healthy place. When I met my husband, we didn’t speak the same language. I didn’t speak English and he didn’t know Spanish, so we were using Google Translate on every occasion to be able to communicateAs well as being able to share some of his experiences of Kenya with his classmates, Liam says it is a point of pride for him to come from a multicultural home because it allows him to be more adaptable in social situations.
Their small family now includes a three-year-old girl named Mila who is being raised as bilingual in the suburbs along Dublin’s north coast. “We actually speak two languages at home,” says Vilmarys. “So Spanish, which is my mother language and my husband learned Spanish with me, so he’s fluent in Spanish right now. He will sometimes talk to my daughter in Spanish. Same with myself. English, of course, is the other second language we speak at home.
“Also, my husband and myself, we used to sing to Mila when she was a baby ... a Lithuanian song that is a kind of song for nursery that my husband used to hear from his mom, so that’s the song that we always sang for her to go to bed.”– the Lithuanian term for grandmother.
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