Advice: A wife is frustrated when her husband blames her for him not working out or eating right.
So there’s an obvious answer here: If you’re extremely unhappy with your husband’s behavior, attitude and hygiene, and it’s been an ongoing pattern, and you’ve already tried, repeatedly, to help him, and he refuses you, then you should leave. If you’re making an effort, it hasn’t been reciprocated and you’re exhausted, there’s no reason to stay.Some people might encourage you to stay for the sake of the baby. I am not one of those people.
That said, I’m curious about the concept of responsibility. When a loved one is clearly experiencing some mental or emotional distress, do we have an obligation to stick with them through it? Better yet, how long does that obligation last? You were unclear in your letter about how long you’ve been married. Which matters because there’s a difference between a year of this behavior and 10.
I am usually not a fan of ultimatums, but if you wish to give him more time, tell him this: “If you don’t find a therapist by February — or even just allow me to help you find one — I’m leaving.” I think you’ve fulfilled your obligation, though. If you wish to leave now, you should.Do you have an uncomfortable question? Ask advice columnist Damon Young, who’s comfortable with the uncomfortable.
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