Two readers seek advice from Jennifer on how to navigate difficult relationships. One reader is frustrated by her siblings' constant infantilization, while another is struggling with her boyfriend's unwillingness to commit.
I am the youngest of a family of five siblings and much as I love them all, whenever we get together, they insist on treating me as the ‘baby’ of the group. The fact that I am 33 doesn’t seem to have occurred to them. It got to be really annoying over Christmas, especially if I tried to discuss anything important with them. I wanted to discuss an issue to do with my dad’s ongoing healthcare, but they just patronised me and asked if I had really thought it through.
Why can’t they just accept that I am an adult now and have valid views and opinions? The next time it happens try to laugh it off — make some joke about not being a baby any more. Perhaps you could present your concerns about your father to them in the same way as you would outline a problem and potential solution to someone you work with, or a client. I’m 17 and my boyfriend is 18. We’ve been together now for six months, and I love him a lot. We get on really well together — when we’re together and we share the same tastes in all kinds of things. His parents and my parents know one another, and they all get on well. I really think he’s the one I want for the rest of my life, but the problem is, he says he can’t stay faithful to me because he can’t be tied down to just one woman — at least not yet. I can cope with this when he is with me because he says that I will always be his number one. However, when he’s not with me I get really depressed wondering what he is doing — and with who. I know he has a lot of friends and I’m pretty sure several of them are girls. I don’t know if he has been out with any of them or if he still is, but I try so hard not to be jealous and to put pressure on him. My friends think I am mad putting up with this, but I know that if I try to make him commit to only me, I will lose him and never get married. What can I do?
Sibling Relationships Long-Term Commitment Communication Respect Infantilization
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