Dear Abby advises a woman whose husband is emotionally abusive and a man whose spouse doesn’t want kids.
My husband of 30 years has always made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for him. He would flirt with other women and say things to me about an ex-girlfriend he broke up with before marrying his first wife. He has told me four different times that we should separate. The first three times, I cried about it. The last time he said it, I told him never to say that to me again.I have always tried my best to be a good wife to him. He’s verbally abusive most of the time.
At some point you may ask your husband to join you, but don’t expect him to automatically agree. Once you feel better about yourself, you can then make a well-thought-out decision about whether to continue being married to him.I’m a 56-year-old man who has been with a great guy, age 50, for 20 years. We were married two years ago. He’s a professor; I’m a clinician.
Five years ago, I felt a sense of emptiness in spite of our happiness and talked to him about children. He was adamantly opposed. I let it go, but now that emptiness is tearing me up inside. I am at the point of giving up my life with him to have a child on my own via adoption or IVF with a surrogate. His biggest issue is how his comfortable life will be changed forever. My issue is getting those last few drops of unfulfilled happiness before it’s too late. Please advise.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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