Emotional checklist for first-time sexual experiences: ‘Liking someone is not enough’

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Emotional checklist for first-time sexual experiences: ‘Liking someone is not enough’
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Ask Roe: Crucial factors for young adults of consenting age to keep in mind while dating or thinking about having sex

We might ignore the fact that they have a mean streak or that they don’t make us laugh, or that underneath their perfect looks they’re actually not that interesting. Prioritise people who make you feel safe, comfortable, respected, appreciated, and who make you smile. A good litmus test for whether someone is a good match for you is simply to ask yourself whether you’d like to be their friend.

Think about what you want from a sexual encounter, and what possible emotional, physical, and sexual outcomes could be possible, and how you feel about them. Photograph: Alamy/PA Do I want to do this activity at this time, in this setting, with this person – and do they want to do it with me, like this?

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