How to Forgive in Six Steps

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How to Forgive in Six Steps
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Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what happened or what someone did to you is OK, but that you choose not to hold on to the pain. Here's how to start.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened is okay, it means that you choose to not hold on to pain.We’ve all been there—in the course of your life, someone did something awful that hurt you for which you harbor resentment. If you google"," there are many articles about the merits of forgiveness—in essence, how it benefits you, how much better things would be if you let go, and how it’s about releasing yourself from the prison of the victim role.

When I was twelve years old, my family visited extended family in the Midwest—cousins with respective families that hadn’t talked to each other for decades. The reason: one of the wives had made chicken soup when the other visited for dinner, and a bone was left in the soup that one of the brothers almost choked on. He didn’t die, but from that day forward, they didn’t speak. Neither family was willing to forgive the other. I wondered then and wonder now if maybe they didn’t know how to.

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