I love that I’m currently having a second twenties Sex, dating and flirting taught me about myself in my twenties – now it’s teaching me about myself in my thirties 🖋️ RebeccaCNReid for ipaperviews
A few months after the word “divorce” became a full stop, not a question mark, I knew that my therapist/vibrator line mentality had to go. So I started having sex again. A return to sex wasn’t ever really about wanting to have an orgasm, because with the greatest of respect to all the men I know, no matter how good they are, I can make that happen quicker and without having to leave the house. It’s about human connection, exploration, accessing places you wouldn’t otherwise go.
In 2010, I once woke up on the floor of a shared house next to a platonic friend who later became a boyfriend, and then a platonic friend again. We’d gone back with another couple because we both fancied one half, and it seemed like a good idea. That morning we snuck out, giggling, and then walked 20 minutes in the wrong direction before we eventually had to ask a shopkeeper where the hell we were. .
It didn’t feel significant at the time, but a decade on, with a mortgage and a child, there is never a time where someone doesn’t know where I am, let alone where I don’t know where I am. I’m so grateful to the version of me who took that time, that total irresponsibility, and ran with it. Honestly, I wish I’d done it more.
. Given the amount they’ve lived through, who can blame them. But the idea that people in their early twenties are skipping snogging a semi-stranger for a night in watchingmakes me just the tiniest bit sad. I love that I’m currently having a second twenties but your fake twenties come with baggage, unlike your real twenties.
For me that’s needing to be home – totally sober – at the time I told the babysitter I’d arrive. For other people it’s a job or a partner or any number of other things. But our lives get heavier as we get older and that kind of reckless joyful abandon is harder and harder to reach.
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