'Sex is always framed in this way for women, that it’s something men take from them.'
“So, do you reckon you can get me a job at“Oh no, I was just joking to flirt with you.”“At least you didn’t have sex with him,” my mom said, like she always does when something doesn’t work out with a guy. I guess because she thinks if I had, then I would feel more cheated because I’d given myself over to that person. That in leaving the party in a taxi before anything happened, I’d retained some power over the situation. Though I can’t say I felt that way.
But at some point that evening, the dynamic shifted so dramatically that we ended up having sex. I’m still not quite sure how. I just know that we left the party at the same time, and as we walked to the bus stop together he stopped and looked back at me, a slight smirk flicking up his mouth at one side.
Instead, I just edged in closer and closer until his knee was pressing up in between my legs and my arms were wrapped around his shoulders. Until our limbs were plaited together, and there was no air separating us. Until we were airtight, vacuum-packed, and yet still not close enough. I wished I had eight arms so I could be all over all of him at once like an octopus. We tried to walk home, but kept ending up like this again, until eventually we fell back into the softness of his big white bed.
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