At just 14 years old, Martina’s life took a dark turn as abuse began, leaving her with an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame
Find Help NI is Northern Ireland's newest online hub for mental health and well-being support. Our goal is to simplify the search for mental health resources and organisations, all conveniently accessible at findhelpni.com. Explore the "Inspire Me" blog, where you'll discover a wealth of inspiring insights, valuable advice, and personal stories from individuals in Northern Ireland. One such story is that of Martina.
Many people who have experienced sexual abuse share feeling a burden of secrecy and shame. This can be even more so, when the abuser is known to the victim. Speaking with Martina she shared how her coping strategies as a young person became challenges as an adult, “When I was young I learned unhealthy coping strategies – for example food became my ‘best friend’ and gave me comfort. And then alcohol dulled the lingering sense of shame and helped mask my low self esteem. These became issues that followed me right into adulthood and mostly made me feel worse about myself. I knew deep down that I had to do something to release myself from this cycle.
"This was the first time that I saw my future begin to look brighter, and I began to believe that I had nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.” When trauma has been experienced in the past, it can be hard to distinguish between the present and the past. Learning how to use mindfulness, breathwork or grounding techniques to hack your nervous system and take control of those negative thoughts when you need to, can be healing and help overcome the after effects of trauma.
I can accept now that these feelings may revisit me from time to time, but with help I have learned to manage it. I no longer need to be defined by my past trauma.” 2. Speak Your Truth & Seek Professional Help: Open up about your experiences to trusted individuals. Find a counsellor, there are many private therapists & charities that have programmes, support groups or counselling that are specifically for those impacted by sexual abuse.
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