Divorce can be a heart-breaking experience, but mediator and author Michelle Browne is determined to ease that pain for families by making the process less adversarial
Michelle Browne was in her 20s when she went through her first marriage break-up. Her second divorce occurred a decade later – and she describes both experiences as “torturous”.
“I was still vulnerable and in the wrong place mentally after the first divorce when I got into a relationship again and married too soon. Experiencing divorce a second time confirmed the belief of how damaging it was.” The author explained that she felt out of control, like a puppet, with the legal teams pulling the strings.
“Initially, I thought I’d go back and finish that law degree and become a better barrister,” she adds. “I was determined not to replicate the treatment I received. “Then I randomly stumbled upon mediation. After studying the Mediation Act, I became convinced that this system should be the norm. Michelle states in her book that one of the main reasons for divorce is infidelity. When asked how a person whose marriage is ending because of infidelity can sit across from the person who cheated on them, she responds by suggesting a cooling off period.
Separating couples should also remember that mediation isn’t counselling. Initially the meetings are held individually and it’s only when progress is made that the couple is brought together. So how does the process work? Despite Michelle’s divorces being one and two decades in the past, she still carries painful memories of that time. “My divorces feel like ancient history, yet as I wrote the book, memories came flooding back,” she admits. "I remember having to pick myself up and keep going, even when it felt impossible, because I had young children relying on me. Finding time for personal grief was a challenge. Looking back at the person I was then, I feel so very sorry for her.
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