My wife and I want to explore erotica – where do we start?

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My wife and I want to explore erotica – where do we start?
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Ask Roe: we both feel that we need some more help with arousal, but we are afraid to access port in case the guards end up at our door

'At this stage of our lives we prefer ‘manual’ sex and fantasy and imagination plays a big role in our satisfaction'My wife and I are in our late sixties, in good health, and still enjoy intimacy. At this stage of our lives we prefer ‘manual’ sex, and fantasy and imagination play a big role in our satisfaction. At this stage we feel that we need some more help with arousal.

There are porn sites that are ethical in their business and production practices and focus on more erotic content rather than the graphic, often rough and male gaze-centred pornography that is available for free on the internet. But before exploring the world of pornography, I do want to highlight that there are other realms of erotica well worth exploring.

If you’re comfortable doing a bit of performance yourselves, you could also go even more analogue and buy some erotic books or short story collections and read them to each other. This can be such a fun, connecting activity. You might feel silly at first, but being able to laugh and be playful is frankly such an underrated part of sexual connection and eliminating the middleman performer, so to speak, and reading erotica to each other can be a gorgeous way to connect in a new way.

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