Chicken shawarma kebab with donner meat and lamb tikka on garlic naan with hot sauce, and salad - add to basket. BBQ base meat feast 12” pizza with extra jalapeños and thin base - add to basket. Large cheesy chips - you know the kind, those with the half-melted plasticky-white cheese placed, half-melted, over them. Add to basket.
Total: £15.30. You go to click order, reveling in a sense of giddy anticipation and pure, unbridled excitement at the prospect of all those oily calories, carby mouthfuls, and wet meats. But a warning flashes up. Minimum delivery spend: £20. Your meals have failed to meet the threshold. There’s a pause.
Collection is out of the question; half the reason why you’ve decided to splurge on a takeaway is because you’ve had three beers already and have well and truly got the flavour. There’s nothing for it: you simply have to reach that magical £20 ceiling to free your grub and beckon the delivery driver to your doorway. And you must do it by any means necessary.
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