Remembering road traffic victims: ‘We had no notice of Mammy’s death, and that haunts us’

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Remembering road traffic victims: ‘We had no notice of Mammy’s death, and that haunts us’
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More than 24,600 people have died on Irish roads since records began in 1959. My mother, Josie Carolan, was one of them

By 8am, we were all back in the family home in Co Louth, where some neighbours had already gathered. I didn’t know until later that the driver of the car that had collided with Mammy’s was among those to knock at our door. He asked for my father, who went out to see him and listened quietly as the man wept and said he was sorry. I believe the driver, who was convicted later of dangerous driving causing death, was genuinely remorseful. His apology mattered to us.

The wake, over four days, was both exhausting and consoling. It seemed the entire village had come to a standstill, suspending normal life to rally around us. An army of neighbours made tea and sandwiches, leaving us free to make arrangements and talk to the many people who came to sympathise. Mammy was involved in almost everything locally but, over those few days, I learned she had touched many more lives than I was aware of.

No time for goodbyes, to say how much she was loved, how much we appreciated all she had done for us. Because she did everything. Rearing nine children on a low income was hard work. Housework without the modern appliances we all take for granted was drudgery. Growing up, I remember Mammy worrying constantly about making ends meet. She managed, I still don’t know how, but I do remember her saying: “No one ever tells you life is such a struggle.

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