My daughter has failed to turn up for community service. ‘Hennessy can’t get you out of every legal scrape,’ I say, an out-and-out lie
parents. You know the kind I’m talking about. Their kid does a poo for the first time sitting on a toilet and they’re taking out an ad in The Irish Times to announce the news. It’s genuinely rare that I find myself in a position to say – like I did on Friday – that I’m proud of one of my children. Honor has now completed exactly half of her community service hours for vandalising hundreds of SUVs across south Dublin. I know it’s a low bor that I’ve set for her, but here we are.
He goes, “What do you think I’m running here – a juice bar? Someone doesn’t show up, I report them for breaching the terms of their community service order.” I’m there, “Where are you? And don’t say you’re doing your community service because I’m standing on Bachelors Walk and you didn’t show your face this morning.”I’m there, “Mr Grainger is reporting you – just so you know.”I go, “Hennessy can’t get you out of every legal scrape,” which is an out-and-out lie. “Sooner or later, you’re going to have to stort taking responsibility for your own actions,” which, again, is another lie. “Stay where you are. I’m on my way.
Oh my God, you’re going to play everyone off against each other to decide who goes – like the Hunger Games, except in GoatstownAnd Honor’s like, “Vengeance.”
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