Over the summer I shared the story of why I decided to take my daughter off the internet. A stranger went up to her in the park while she was...
,” which I highly recommend if you haven’t heard it. Hearing that episode sent me down a rabbit hole, and brought up many things I hadn’t quite considered. I reflected a lot, on what it all means, why I started sharing her in the first place and how I might feel about it 5, 10, 15 years from now. Here’s what I learned in the process.Initially it felt like my sole reason for posting my daughter on the internet was for validation. There is truth to that, and I’m not even saying that’s a bad thing.
So yeah, posting a photo of your child and getting some validation feels good. As the weeks have gone by I realized it wasn’t just about the validation. It was about the joy. Social media is a place for many of us to share things we love, the people and places that make us happy and bring us joy. Of course my daughter is a huge source of joy and pride in my life, so it feels natural to want to share that, but at what cost?I had Marin a few weeks before the start of the pandemic.
I grew up without social media. Many of us did. Born in the early 1980s, I didn’t have Facebook until college. There was no Instagram. The only photos and videos that exist of me as a baby and child are in dusty photo albums and old VHS tapes. As I thought about how much has changed since then, I realized how little privacy we have on social media. While it felt like I was sharing photos of my daughter with my online friends, in reality I was sharing her pictures with everyone, with strangers.
Once those photos are out there I no longer have control, and that made me feel sick. I also considered how my daughter might feel knowing I posted her image online countless times without her consent? It might sound dramatic but the reality is, if I don’t protect her privacy and her image, it’s no longer mine to control.Admittedly I was really sad when I wiped Marin from my blog and social media. There is a part of me that misses sharing my daughter and the joy she brings.
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