Ask Roe: Their reaction is causing a lot of tension and delaying our return
Ask Roe: We’re moving back home and hope to start saving for a small wedding but my mother keeps interrogating me about my fianceI’m 31 and was living with my parents in Dublin until after Covid. I have a degree and have always worked but couldn’t make enough to rent in Dublin while saving anything. I love my parents and my mam and I are really close, but living with them did feel stifling. When lockdowns lifted, I was desperate to travel and applied for teaching jobs abroad.
For example, I’m unclear of your financial situation. You were saving to afford rent but then went travelling. Does that mean you spent your savings, or have you continued to grow them? You’re now planning to save for a wedding. Will you then be able to afford a wedding and rent, so you can move out of your parents’ home? What’s the timeline? Your parents absolutely have the right to ask what your plan is, because your plan affects them.
You can’t truly get to know people in a vacuum. Life is relational and interactive. While you may know this person’s innermost dreams, their love of getting up and watching the sun rise, and their ability to turn a flight delay into a fun adventure, there are things you will not know about living a more settled life with them until you actually do it.
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